Japanese Guys
January 7th, 2009
How different are Japanese guys from American/English/Western guys
Honestly, you're going to be more likely to find another non-Japanese male that shares your interests than you'll find yourself magically sipping a soda out of two straws with some rarefied Japanese rock star... Dreaming of dating some manufactured bishie-omg-is-teh-love kawaii ^_^ boy or even his impersonator is just setting yourself up for heartbreak.
These aren't Japanese men, they are a product that you consume.
ed: I want to add that I understand that the idea of visual music is almost theatrical fantasy, at least that's my interpretation of it... If it's something that you enjoy, even when its borders on the dangerously obsessive side, well, I'm not going to stop you... but it crosses a line when you start making plans about dating based around your distorted image of Japanese males.
Course we want to grow up fast being a kid these days is hard everything goes wrong but there may be some good bits that i may have missedI hate to break it to you, and I honestly mean it, but it really only gets worse... The only thing that gets better is we stop having these crushes on unobtainable objects of desire, and start falling in love with real people who sometimes love us, sometimes drive us crazy, sometimes make us feel sad, even while in the same room.
Love is complicated... enjoy this part of your life, where crushes are safe. It's the future that you've got to worry about. All I can say is that sometimes I wish I could go back, knowing what I know now, to relive life all over again... If only...
Even in the "alternative" Harajuku, the "alternative" population is 85% female :P
When I walked in Harajuku, the excessive make up was done by girls not guys. After coming back to Japan after so many years, I also noticed the Japanese society consider it normal for guys to be fashionable, well-maintained, well-groomed, and etc. However, the make up for guys is not considered mainstream even in Japan. I was a little bit roughed up after years of stay in New York; so I am catching up on that department now (with the help from my mom, if I may add).
I also noticed there are many skinny looking guys in Japan. I thought I am slim; but, I have seen many others who are skinnier than me.
Regarding the hair cut, I have detected the current hair cut fashion calls for dyed in reddish/brownish color, slight perm, and not-combed look. Generally, that makes me think the lead singer of Bon Jovi. It's uncanny I see many guys with similar hair cut. I think I can just go to a hair salon in Shinjuku and pick it from its hair cut style menu.
Sounds like what Governor Arnold would call "girly-men." I know a guy who refers to them as "gayrods."
I would have to question the judgment of the parents. It is definitely an invitation for trouble.
Obviously,it is unfair and not democratic ... but the society won't change right now (of course, it surely will change in the future)...so it is better to adapt yourself to it
:-)
If anything, he was very unlike to all the stereotypes that are said about Japanese guys... but then, he was into kinds of things like languages, travelling, Europe - so naturally either open-minded in his nature to foreign cultures or else after much time living in other countries had become used to European (and Australian) ways too. :p
Yeah, judging all Japanese men's fashion sense by visual-kei bands is like judging all American men by the glam rock groups of the 70s and the other rock bands that wore extravagant costumes and makeup on stage (like KISS).
I thought that was the point of this thread, maybe I was wrong...
Sorry, I didn't see the "Make up" part of the previous post...
hitsugi Ruka Ruka is always so tired
As boring as a 14-year-old should be.
Obviously you've never seen Japanese television. The cornerstone of Japanese humor involves a group of grown men standing around and beating each other over the head and shouting. When compared to British television.... well... maybe you have a point. lol. :relief:
I hope u are right 包龙星...
filler filler filler...
lol ive seen jrock Bands and how bad they are normal japanese guys cant really Be as bad as that can they??? >.
I think that this discussion would probably be more informed if we were all asking J-Bot for advice about Japanese men...
GOOD LORD....
I've seen girls as young as 12/13 dating.... well, that is to say, in my own neighborhood (years ago), I don't observe them from my windowless van....
Please tell me, exactly what it is that impresses you about Japanese males?
Sorry.:bluush: ”過保護” "kahogo" It means to be over protective. And in the case over hear , a lot of parents are.
I know this strays a little from the topic, but wearing or not wearing makeup is a cultural and fashion thing which doesn't ultimately link with masculinity/femininity (although currently it is indeed much less common for men than women to wear it). In England men went through a phase of wearing powdered wigs... who knows where fashions take us.
I know it has got nothing to do masculinity/femininity , but it still makes me laugh when I watch them looking at them selves in the mirror. They care more about themselves than their girlfriends, sort of like an accessory I suppose.
Sounds like what Governor Arnold would call "girly-men." I know a guy who refers to them as "gayrods."
Ha,Ha,Ha... I have never heard that one before. But, there is some truth to it.:p
HitsugiMad4eva, oh yeah,young men over here fuss about they hair allright, as do women. Actually, I have seen somewhere that Japan has the highest ratio of hair salons to people in the world. (I don't know where I got this info from ,I can't remember, but I am betting that it has a lot of truth to it).
Sorry for the derail.
The waiting is the hardest part.
Well, do you have some points for us, in maybe 3-4 sentence what the main difference is between Japanese guys and Western guys?
Hmmm... Yeah.... Japanese high school kids (guys) are more concerned with their hair and they wear makeup, thats right guys wearing makeup. What a bunch of girls, actually they do remind my of girls. They are immature b/c their parents are "過保護" or they are wanna be rebles without a cause and that just dosen't work either. Oh , there are many who are heading in the right dirrection, but no girl will be able to steal their hearts b/c study and the future is way more important. My advise, wait until they get to at least 25 before you even start to take an intrest in them.
Umu....
When I said that bishounen don't exist, I was saying that in the terms of how bishounen is interpreted from the outside as "bishies", male characters that exhibit an illicit femininity, bordering on homo-eroticism, that is a staple of the Visual / Oshare kei industry... Selling safe-beautiful boys to young girls, as apposed to the snarling "tough guys" you sometimes see in movies like Battle Royale I & II...
The funny part about Battle Royale, is that the lead character, who plays a very classic-bishounen character, one who is honourable, demure and weak, one who can not, could not, take advantage of a woman, becomes a sort of snarling tough guy in the sequel.
But, in reality, what males in actual society, attainable males, fit the image of bishounen?
I've seen one too many tired, weary salarymen to think there are many.
I think you are incorrect in everything that you are saying here...
Japanese women are strong women, they may seem demure to you, they may seem to be marginalized in the work force (they are--- but this is changing due to the labour crisis), but I dare anyone who has had an argument with a Japanese woman to claim they are demure.
I've not met any males who didn't wish for Japanese women to succeed... they often enough have jobs themselves so that the couples could even afford their living expenses... The age of men wishing that women simply stay home is not a reality--- the economy won't allow for it.
There are always traditional mores in society, but when it comes down to putting food on the table, and paying the utilities, reality trumps tradition.
I second that. Japan is an East Asian country, ones which are very masculine, by this I mean that by tradition, men once were more important than women. But Japan is different from other countries since it became a capitalist nation some decades ago. So this brought many opportunities for women, more education, jobs and just better overall quality of life.
I have never been to any country in Asia, but, I can rely on what I'm saying in the fact that China just over a decade ago, began havng a lot of abortions simply because people wanted boys as children, very sad, but now, as China is becoming a big economic power, things start to change. So now I expect things to be in Japan as equally for both men and women.
Mauricio
I totally agree with you ^___- I just adore the Johnny's style guys, even if they might look too feminine sometimes (but at least they don't dress up as girls haha -I like the style, sometimes, tho-).
I also like Japanese guys with unique facial features, such as Matsuda Shota (He's my number one! *__*).
Half Japanese boys are also very good looking, in my opinion, they have a kind of "mysterious" charm ^_^ (looool)
But... the guys I like the most are the ones that I can see everyday walking in Tokyo ^___- The natural, the boy next door type...
Let's be realistic, girls, they are the ones that we can aim at ^____-
Kinsao is 27 and agrees with me.I'm sorry, I'm not sure she does.
I Was kinda only asking a Question i only wanted to no wat its like to date a japanese guy from people that have thats allHere's what I can tell you from Japanese women I've spoken to, they are men who are burdened with the ideas of being the supporter of the family, the salaryman, they can be overtly-rough or less gentle during acts of love, they are burdened with the lionization of labels of perversion or misogyny, ...many are very nice people, but live in a conflicted world where Japanese society asks of them, expects of them, to act in a certain accordance, while their home life can be quite different...
I'm expecting that the Japanese men I've met are quite different than then ones that you might be thinking of... Younger boys who have disposable income and no real responsibility for school, jobs, what-haveyou... In many aspects they are similar... but I don't think that's important to you... it shouldn't be.
When you go into a relationship, look it as a relationship with a human being, not a race, and learn from your experiences dating the individual, not the race... I've dated a few different non-Caucasian girls, and I don't judge their race simply from my experiences.... and we shouldn't... there isn't any manual for love... if there were, it would all be so much easier than it is.
Good luck, and don't rush things... there is a lot of time in you life to think about relationships, try dating people w/ similar interests to you, I think in the end if you end up w/ a Japanese boyfriend, you'll either need to brush up on your Japanese and move to Japan, or perhaps be disappointed in what you expected... There is a shelf life for Japanese males for when they are as stated somewhere "kakkoii", (cool), and when they have to buckle down, cut their hair, and start working for the man.
I have only actually been out with one Japanese guy, who was 13 years older than me and therefore in a totally different generation to the one the OP is talking about, so probably can't offer many helpful comments. :blush:
However the most important thing is of course to get to know someone as an individual, regardless of what country, nationality or cultural background they are from. It is best simply to treat the person with respect and politeness and forget about preconceptions of 'what Japanese boys are like', and things. From there, things will become clearer as you get to know him. And of course, if you are not sure of something, you can always ask him; if you ask in a polite way I am sure he will appreciate that you simply want to know if something is/is not acceptable to him, and probably appreciate the fact you were considerate enough to ask nicely about it. :)
I think (although I may be wrong!) that it's a little old-fashioned idea that Japanese males 'don't want women to succeed'. :souka: A great many women in Japan have their successful jobs in business, commerce, companies and such. There is the issue whether they get promotion and such high positions/pay as men :okashii: but that is really another issue. It's quite far from the 'model stay-at-home young wife' image, really. There are differences in the ways women are perceived and treated in Japan, but these are very complex and subtle and best dealt with in entirely different discussions. :relief: (I know very little about these things. :blush: ) But, for example my Japanese ex, if we had ended up getting married, would not have expected me to give up my job or something. On the other hand, he was a well-travelled, open-minded, intelligent person; no doubt there can be found closed-minded uber-'traditionalists' in Japan the same as anywhere else. :bluush:
If you are meeting with guys living in England but from Japanese parentage it's likely they will be pretty well 'Briticised' if they have lived here all their life, or at least picked up a lot of British cultural attitudes :p so there are not so many differences to take into account as there would be if you are meeting with boys who are simply on holiday here from Japan.
But as I said before, better just to meet and talk with him as an individual, and not worry too much about 'cultural differences'! :p
I think most of the girls up here are talking about boys, and Jrockers instead of the good looking Japanese celibs such as (IMO) Kimura Takuya (even though he is a bit to feminine sometimes), and Masahara Fukuyama (both of them where chosen by the Japanese as most attractive males in the last couple of years.
My parents wouldn't let me get my ears pierced until I was 16 (It lost the appeal when I was allowed to do it lol) so dating was uh...fun. I did have a boyfriend at 16, but it was a bit of a joke, he was older, but so immature. 19 and acting about 12.
As for J-men, I'm inclined to agree, they leave me weak. Obv I'm talking appearance wise as you can't categorize any group of people personality wise. Slim, dark hair, dark eyes *sigh* Tatsuya Fujiwara (Shuuya Nanahara)is supposed to be in the country at the mo, I'm setting my sights no where else heh heh heh
How different are Japanese guys from American/English/Western guys
Don't get me started!! Dave, that could take me all day. Maybe when school lets out, I'll sit down and write about it. Of course, it wouldn't suit everyone...
Gosh, I've missed this place and its chaos... :p
In the United States, this sort of thing was dubbed "metrosexual"... meaning, that, since homosexual men really only cared about their looks, straight men who were open with their preening, were deemed to be "metrosexual".
This sort of thing is much less important as Japanese males grow older, have more responsibilities, families, commitments to the company, become sallary men... We judge youth so harshly, when there are so many indescrepencies commited by youth all throughout the world... This isn't a national men's movement... It's simply one of youth, and again, I'll say, that make-up has nothing really do to with it.
Japan is a country of contradictions, it is not openly accepting of homosexuality (much to the surprise of many who see this sort of imagry in yaoi, shotacon and certain aspects of oshare & visual kei) but the marketing of these elements is quite prevalent through, say, yaoi, shotacon manga, visual music, etcetera... the consumers of this type of manga / image are generally young girls who have gender identity issues (this is taken from the Japanese wiki on shotacon), ....but of course, outside of Japan, just as things going INTO Japan, it gets re-contextualized and the meaning changes.
Just something to think about.
(sorry for the 'astro' but im just in the astromood:p)
In addition to his youthful good looks, he has poise, manners and intelligence--a rarity in Japan today!!
http://www.jiji.com/news/kiji_photos/20070523bo03b.jpg
(And is "Hitsugi" the "casket" hitsugi? Or something else?)
First pass exams... then go kiss boys... (I can't think of boys... atleast, not at the moment...)
You're 14 so you have many many years to go hunt down some japanese Bishonen :p
Btw, i think people who are kissing at a young age,, quickly get bored later :p
(i didn't kiss anyone before... I'm Saving :p Lol... )
They aren't different BECAUSE they are Japanese... they don't have special genes that make them do things differently out of instinct. :okashii:
Yeah, judging all Japanese men's fashion sense by visual-kei bands is like judging all American men by the glam rock groups of the 70s and the other rock bands that wore extravagant costumes and makeup on stage (like KISS).This is a really good point... A lot of people think of "Glam Rock", (the phrase best describes a phase of music in the UK moreso than the USA) a subject that I am intimately aware of, in terms of "Glam"... There wasn't always a lot of Glam in those aspects... though bands like Wizard, Angel Face, David Bowie, had a Visual look... their sounds were all differernt, much like Visual bands today...
The Glam movement was much less about the visual aspect and more about the romp and stomp of the beat, as played by bands like T-Rex, Bowie, Mott the Hoople, even Early ELO.
Most of the guys I saw didn't wear make-up in Japan, they did wear Louis Vuitton purses though. I helped a group of Japanese exchange-program tourists at work today, and more than a few of the guys had Louis Vuitton wallets... !!
Kinsao is 27 and agrees with me.
But seriously, the novelty has a tendency to wear off...
My advice, don't worry about finding a boyfriend of any ethnicity, for a few more years at least. Focus on fun kid things that you're still able to partake in. Honestly, kids try to grow up too fast these days.
What I've been told by my ex, concerning Japanese males, and if you watch any sort of "AV" it's sort of evident... (Depending), that they are generally rougher with women during sexual acts... Sometimes however they'll play a demure roll, where they are seemingly the controlled, not the controller... It runs the gamut.
Of course, this is all hearsay, I don't know anything about Japanese AV, cough... ahem.
I've heard complaints from some women that instead of calling them by their names, say Motoko-chan, they'll simply just say "ne ne" to get their attention... These are all just things I've been told by women in Japan, and I don't want to disrespect any Japanese males out there... All I've met have been kind to me, but of course, I didn't DATE them.
Most of the girls around the web think that Japanese boys are all into v-kei, wear thick make up and rock all the day long.
Obviously, the above mentioned girls want to date a Japanese guy like that.
Most probably, they have never seen a real Japanese in real life, because if they had, they'd know that the average Japanese is not like that haha
Even in the "alternative" Harajuku, the "alternative" population is 85% female :P
Sorry, I am studying Japanese but I am not that far on the Kanji yet, and I am sure that another 50-80% of all the members on this forum aren't that far either, so could you please translate that kanji for us? Thank you:wave:.
I'll admit most of the Johnny's members have great hair... but the rest of them are soso I guess...
Personally I don't find the VK guys all that great, with the exception of Miyavi. He's sexy.
Be a good person, be true to yourself, your family, and keep up with your school work, and what you gain from that will be multitudes greater than finding a boyfriend at the moment.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your life, just telling you I was your age once too.
You're 14 so you have many many years to go hunt down some japanese Bishonen I don't want to break your bubble, but Japanese Bishounen are a product of fiction, not reality. Sorry.
Umu....
This is my idea of a Japanese "bishounen"--15-year-old Touru Ishikawa, the youngest-ever winner of a professional golf tournament.When I said that bishounen don't exist, I was saying that in the terms of how bishounen is interpreted from the outside as "bishies", male characters that exhibit an illicit femininity, bordering on homo-eroticism, that is a staple of the Visual / Oshare kei industry... Selling safe-beautiful boys to young girls, as apposed to the snarling "tough guys" you sometimes see in movies like Battle Royale I & II...
The funny part about Battle Royale, is that the lead character, who plays a very classic-bishounen character, one who is honourable, demure and weak, one who can not, could not, take advantage of a woman, becomes a sort of snarling tough guy in the sequel.
But, in reality, what males in actual society, attainable males, fit the image of bishounen?
I've seen one too many tired, weary salarymen to think there are many.
Obviously,it is unfair and not democratic ... but the society won't change right now (of course, it surely will change in the future)...so it is better to adapt yourself to it.I think you are incorrect in everything that you are saying here...
Japanese women are strong women, they may seem demure to you, they may seem to be marginalized in the work force (they are--- but this is changing due to the labour crisis), but I dare anyone who has had an argument with a Japanese woman to claim they are demure.
I've not met any males who didn't wish for Japanese women to succeed... they often enough have jobs themselves so that the couples could even afford their living expenses... The age of men wishing that women simply stay home is not a reality--- the economy won't allow for it.
There are always traditional mores in society, but when it comes down to putting food on the table, and paying the utilities, reality trumps tradition.
hitsugi Ruka
Bishounen dont excist... :( Bummer :p
Whatever... But thanks for reminding me :bow:
Lol :blush:
I did notice a lot of guys that obviously took care of their hair, but who dosent in every country I suppose.
Usually boys go to a barber nearby, but when they go to junior highschool, some boys start going to a hairdresser.
But due to the events of 9/11 any child under the age of 18 is not allowed to fly on a plane on their own, You must be 18 and older to fly on your own unless you have a responsible adult with you.
As to the cost, here it is :-
Cheapest ticket - ｣805.90.
Middle price ticket - ｣1812.20.
Most expensive ticket - ｣3,195.20.
All of those tickets allow you a months stay in Japan.
Hope this helps. :-)
exactly! Ive been saying that all along and I was attacked for it.I whole-heartedly agree.
Kudos to you! It'll pay off in the long run.
Gosh, I've missed this place and its chaos... :p
Welcome Back!
Well, do you have some points for us, in maybe 3-4 sentence what the main difference is between Japanese guys and Western guys?
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