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Here are a couple ways to help you define the line between a soft addiction and a productive activity:

Zone out. A good way to identify a soft addiction is to notice whether or not you zone out as you're doing it. When we are zoned out, we are not fully engaged. We may be checked out or have a "no one is home" expression on our face. Zoning out suggests that the goal of our activity is numbness. Though we are physically engaged, our mind is somewhere else. When we're finished with the activity we frequently don't remember what we have done, seen, or read. Though this generally happens while watching TV, it can also happen while shopping, working, having superficial conversations, or during any number of activities.

Avoiding feelings. Some activities help numb us to our emotions, especially very strong emotions. We escape feelings by becoming numb to them, increasing the feelings we like to the exclusion of others, or indulging in your favorite unpleasant feeling to escape another. A lot of us are uncomfortable with our most intimate feelings, whether they are good or bad. We often do not understand how to safely handle our sadness or anger (or, in some instances, even our joy), so we find an activity or a mood that facilitates an emotion-muting state, which only represses our sadness, anger or other unresolved feelings.

Compulsiveness. Does an irresistible urge drive you to indulge a specific activity or mood? Do you feel compelled to do, have, or purchase something, even though you know it's not necessary? This may be accompanied by a helpless, powerless feeling. You may be unable to quit or diminish the amount of time spent on a given activity. Although you may find some transient pleasure, you frequently feel bad afterward. You persist in going along with the habit, saying to yourself, I will never do this again. No matter how hard you make an effort to quit, you cannot.

Denial. If you're defensive or make excuses for your actions, chances are it's a soft addiction. Denial is refusing to admit and rationalization is an excuse or explanation to justify a compulsive behavior. Both dull our self-awareness and lower our expectations of ourselves. To make our actions acceptable, we ignore, cover up, or dodge the actual motive or cost. We either convince ourselves that our habit isn't a problem or we make up reasons why it is a suitable or necessary way to spend our time. "What's so horrible about a few cups of coffee?" is a average justification. We may deny that the many hours spent on the internet are a waste of time and energy. The inclination to justify an activity suggests a soft addiction.

Stinking thinking. Related to denial and rationalization, "stinking thinking" is faulty thinking built on false beliefs. Oversimplifying, amplifying, minimizing, justifying, blaming, and emotional reasoning are some examples. Stinking thinking creates the silly logic of soft addictions. For instance, "there are no calories when I eat standing up," or "I can't work out if I've already taken a shower." Woven throughout soft addiction routines, this kind of thinking is addictive. The tainted thoughts prompt indulging in a soft addiction in the beginning and later allow us to justify the indulgence.

Hiding the behavior. Be cautious of habits that become guilty amusements that you try to hide. Covering up the amount of time you spend participating in an activity or being deceitful to those around you about how you normally spend your time or your money suggests that you have soft addictions. You are ashamed of what you're doing and that's why you want to conceal it from others.

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